May 28, 2022

IKEA Announces New “Build a Life” Kit

 IKEA Announces New “Build a Life” Kit

DELFT, NETHERLANDS —IKEA has just released a new “build a life” kit that allows customers to build themselves a new life in about two hours. The kit comes with everything a person could need for day-to-day survival: a 10 feet by 10 feet living area, a data-entry job, smartphone, and a spouse to consistently criticize and belittle them. “People are looking for new ways to make their life more efficient, this is our way of giving that to them. The included spouse ensures that the life experience will resemble a real life as much as possible,” said IKEA VP of Product Design.“I was working a dead-end job with no hope for the future, but I had all this extra space in my apartment. I figured I’d downsize,” said IKEA customer Dennis Windshield.

Cornelius Pennyworth

Cornelius was born with a silver spoon and a golden keyboard. When he isn't waxing his Rolls Royce, Cornelius enjoys big-game hunting on his private estate and sorting through his collection of Persian rugs.

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