May 28, 2022

Disney+ Announces New “Screw You, Pay Me” Pricing Model

 Disney+ Announces New “Screw You, Pay Me” Pricing Model

BURBANK, CA – On Tuesday, Disney announced that they will be implementing a new pricing model for their flagship Disney+ streaming service called Screw You, Pay Me. According to Disney VP Ericka Flagertson, the idea behind the new pricing model is to simplify the fee structure for Disney+ so that all consumers can easily understand the terms. “Keep paying us more. That’s what this is all about. Sure, we’re charging people for Disney-exclusive movies in addition to their monthly service fee. That’s not enough. Screw you. Pay us more.” When asked how this pricing model compares to other competitors’ offerings, Flagertson went on to say “Netflix, Hulu, and those other assholes shit the bed when they offered a flat-fee for the service. They weren’t considering the fact that people are willing to keep paying more.” Bonnie Cunningham, a retired school teacher who saw the announcement on Facebook is quoted saying “I like the new Disney+ pricing. Before the coronavirus, I was spending thousands of dollars a year taking my family to Disney’s theme parks. With the Screw You, Pay Me pricing for Disney+, it’s just a much quicker and easier way to give them my money.”

Cornelius Pennyworth

Cornelius was born with a silver spoon and a golden keyboard. When he isn't waxing his Rolls Royce, Cornelius enjoys big-game hunting on his private estate and sorting through his collection of Persian rugs.

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