Apple Announces New iPhone is a Literal Brick, Pre-Orders Sell Out in 5 Minutes

CUPERTINO, CA – At a press conference on Tuesday, Apple announced its new iPhone model for 2020: the iBrick. “People want the Apple brand, and they don’t really care about the technical specs. We think the iBrick will be the most popular Apple product to date,” said Apple VP of Product Development Hans Fingerlinger. In Los Angeles, excited Apple fans set up tents outside of Apple Stores and Best Buy locations to be the first to get the new iBrick. “I always want to have the latest and greatest stuff from Apple. I’m planning on getting an iBrick for the whole family!” The price tag for the iBrick starts at $899 for the basic brick model or customers can pay $999 for a limited-edition version with a hairline crack in it.