May 28, 2022

AOL: You’ve Got Election

 AOL: You’ve Got Election

PALO ALTO, CA – Nothing says 2020 like taking what’s old and ineffective and trying to make it relevant again. Some Americans see the most recent assault on the USPS as the start of a disastrous economic downfall and the end of democracy. Not AOL. The AOL innovation committee (whose recent ideas include push notifications, two-factor authentication, and passwords that aren’t your mother’s maiden name and her birthday) sees this as an opportunity for innovation.  No longer will AOL be limited to your aunt who lost $10K buying twin Shih-Tzus from Azerbaijan, but rather a new era of users: the American electorate. AOL Mail hopes to make a comeback as the go-to voting platform for the election. The company is set to unveil this voting platform as soon as the CEO finds the electricity bill from 1998 where he wrote his password down. 

Mason Owens

Mason Owens is a 38-year-old from Portland (the granola Portland in Oregon not the lighthouse Portland in Maine). After investing all of his money in a sustainable bitcoin powered bicycle, Mason is determined to learn how all of the people he went to high school with are making a living. DMs are open.

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