August 5, 2021

Living The Dream

Man Picks Nose for Two Minutes in Front of Coworkers After Forgetting to Close Zoom Meeting

ANN ARBOR, MI – Ross Mitchum, age 39, a sales executive who was formerly on the fast-track to a sizable

Unpopular Executive Fired, Replaced by His Dog

Tech

AOL: You’ve Got Election

PALO ALTO, CA – Nothing says 2020 like taking what’s old and ineffective and trying to make it relevant again.

Apple Announces New iPhone is a Literal Brick, Pre-Orders Sell Out in 5 Minutes

Zoom CEO Addresses Privacy Concerns During Live Q&A, Is on Mute the Whole Time

Top of the month

Amidst growing concerns over user privacy since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, Zoom CEO Eric Yuan took to a conference call to address public concerns. The call, which hosted 272 of the industry’s top professionals started off smooth, opening with small talk. After pushing past how we’re all adjusting

REYKJAVIK, ICELAND – A normally mundane high school blood drive turned into a media circus Wednesday, as local legend and World’s Strongest Man, Gregor Ver Smundarson, made a surprise appearance in support of The Horde’s latest drive for blood. Thunderous applause erupted from the Lifslínd gymnasium bleachers as the phlebotomist

CHICAGO, IL – This Thursday, finance executive Harry Reese was notified that he would be terminated effective immediately. His labrador mix, Spot, was notified via email that he will be hired as the company’s new Senior Director of Acquisitions. “Spot was always really popular on Zoom meetings. He would be

LONG ISLAND, NJ – Children ran through the streets screaming while Geoffrey the Giraffe, the long-dead mascot of bankrupt toy manufacturer Toys “R” Us chased them around downtown Long Island. Adults threw Molotov cocktails at Geoffrey as children sought refuge from the unrelenting former mascot. The mascot was spotted throwing